Day 31 Treatment Day 1

eek, it is still all so surreal. I feel like I am in a lifetime movie, although clearly there is not very much other drama in my life (thank you God!). So, here is a description of what happens. First, I get to park in the patient spaces. Second, I get to use the patient bathroom. Third, I get to put on the disgusting patient johnny wear. (Why do they call these johnnies?) The good news is that I get to keep my pants and importantly my socks on. The other people waiting in the special radiation waiting room are all old men, in full johnny wear, no pants.. I am assuming they are the prostate crowd. They all love me already, called me sunshine this morning, said I was positively glowing when I came out, and wished me a lovely day until we meet again tomorrow. it was very cute...
anyway, so I change, and sit with my special id card ready to go. I only had to wait about 2 minutes and then Steve, the same tech as yesterday greeted me. He and Cassy are working my time slot, and they are both very nice. It was easy getting onto the table and into the mask, but it is really scary and I definitely had to talk my way through some panic moments. Just imagine that you head is confined and squished into this mesh mask, which forces your eyes closed and your mouth clenched. So, you can't see and you can't talk. Then the mask is bolted down to the table so you are completely immobile. Yesterday, during the practice, I had to be on the table for quite a while, I think about 10 minutes while they confirmed with the Dr. that every thing was lined up properly. Today was much quicker, I think less than 6 minutes.. it still seemed like a very long time. I kept imagining that I was being left alone and I couldn't move or get up. I think that tomorrow I will ask Jim if he could talk to me a little more, just so I know that I am not alone. I can hear the machine when the actual radiation is going, and I know that they said that I wouldn't feel anything, except I think I did feel something. My neck is tingling and warm.. oh yea, I am completely psychsematic - however you spell that. It is just my weird brain imagining the laser beams penetrating my throat and setting fire to all those bad cells.
I was at work by 9:20.. Quite amazing.