Of course I am doing what every American under 60 would do... constantly surfing the web, all the time. I am going to be a survivor and my story and my trauma is going to be small relative to what so many go through. I am not sure that makes my issue any easier to deal with today, but what I have learned from surfing is that I will survive, my discomfort will be small, my kids might never know, I can keep working. I will even get to take a few naps. I am hopeful and I do believe in God and the power of prayer and the strength of my body.
The internet is full of great stories and also bizaar remedies. Do I believe that 5,000 mg of solenium a day can do the same thing as a huge zap of radiation for 33 days? The cancer hospital web sites are different, although they are friendly and factual and inviting, they are not hopeful and do not advertise survival.
The Dr. is back from vacation today. My CT scan is ready for him. I am in NC, but the power of the cell phone, I can call him any time, from right here under my umbrella at the beach. If the Dr. doesn't call, is it because it is bad news and he doesn't want to ruin our vacation? Is it because it is the good results, as he expected, no problem - no need to call. Maybe he hasn't even seen the results, he won't look until I call to ask him?
As I sit here on the beautiful beach, watching my boys jump in the waves, completly at peace in my ignorance, Do I want the Dr. to call?
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