Day 48 Feeling Like a Complainer

While this blog was originally meant to keep my family and friends up to date with me, mostly because I can't talk on the phone and don't want to be a group emailer, it has certainly helped me in many ways.
I find that sometimes in the waiting room or while I am in the bug zapper, I can relax and think of different topics to write about, or different ideas I have to search on the web that I can then write about. I was concerned that I would start this and be really into it for a few days and then not be able to get back to it. I was worried that it would turn into a stress, but actually completing a thought each day to share has really brought a lot of gratification. I actually like to look at my own blog! I hope that is not to vain, but it is certainly a sense of accomplishment.
However, in reviewing the last few weeks, I see that while I have wanted to keep people posted on "my cure" I do not want this to turn into personal therapy or a complaint box. I will try and keep this positive and without to much "all about me"... even though it is in fact, all about me.
Mostly, I am scared about what will happen in the next month and the anticipation of pain, and the fact that I cannot stop the process now that it has started. I must complete 33 zaps...I will be half way there in one more week....