Day 85 Ready to swim?

So I took the kids to the Y today, something that I do a lot in the winter. There is free swim all afternoon, and mostly the boys like to jump off the diving board for about 2 hours and then we go into the gym and play with the basketballs for another hour.. it is an easy way to pass an afternoon.
So, in the past I have gone into the pool with them, and I will go over to the lap lanes and swim laps for 20 minutes. The swimming is something that I have really enjoyed in the last couple of years and have found it so calming and relaxing and exhausting. Well, I had tried on my suit at home before we left and spent all morning debating whether I would be able to swim. I was most nervous about the breathing and my throat and being cold... and really just if I was ready for all this. I decided that I was fooling myself into thinking I was ready... I am still addicted to the darn percocet... and yet I need to be back to myself.
So, I deliberately did not bring my swim suit, forcing myself to rest and take it easy for another week. Yet, sitting there in the bleachers watching the kids jump around in the pool, I was missing those laps...